Is there really a reason?
Hey friends,
Recently I was doing some research online to find some new books to read. I fell down a rabbit hole on a reading list (again), ‘Gates Notes’ where I randomly stumbled on a review of a New York Times bestselling memoir— Everything Happens For a Reason: And Other Lies I’ve Loved. The title of this book captured my attention bc it’s what I actually believe to a degree. Of course my curiosity was peaked to further delve into the description.
Bowler was 35 years old, married to her high school sweetheart and raising their young son when she was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer. The book is about her search for answers that align with her deeply held religious beliefs. A professor at Duke Divinity School, she grew up in a family with rooted religious ties. She struggled with understanding why something so tragic would happen to her given the ideologies that she subscribed to. Im sure we have heard of similar story lines before where the intersections of religion and mortality meet.
I haven’t read this book but after reading the description, it made me cogitate on this whole, ‘everything happens for a reason’ thing. It seems like the cause-and-effect view could really distort our lens of the world around us especially if there is no basis of fact or evidence to prove the outcome. It challenges us to believe that perhaps maybe there is some outside force that unexplainably is creating the outcome.
I think it’s because our brains are naturally wired to try to make sense of things we desperately want to solve. We try to convince ourselves or create a story to make ourselves feel better. Yea, I guess we could say that a good process with a bad outcome is an smart experiment and a bad process with a good outcome is luck, but then how could we ever provide explanation for the countless other events that occur in our lives with no basis of scientific reasoning, facts or logic.
Anyways, this one title of this book has now challenged my entire preset notion that I had for a while. And while, yes I can look back at some events that occurred in my life and say the reason for why the outcome happened, accepting that some of the outcomes in which there is no clear indication of the cause is perfectly okay too. It just IS.
I recognize that obviously it’s not easy to think about things that are contrary to what we already accept and believe in because it's no fun and we may have already made up our minds. However, its seems like a useful exercise to practice to maybe see if there is something that we probably overlooked or did not consider much before, right?. It’s kinda like watching the news. We know that Fox reports more conservative view points while CNN doesn’t.
Depending on what political belief we subscribe to, we wouldn’t care to watch the channel that does not support our own, but isn’t it wise to study how the opponent(s) is operating even if its something we disagree on. It’s okay to agree to disagree, right?
It’s interesting that some questions cant be answered by facts. It seems normal for us to accept and entertain the notion that people who do good things deserve somewhat better outcomes in life on average on those who don’t. Yet on the other hand it’s nihilistic to think that every outcome is simply random. Im sure we have all heard of stories or know of people that have lost their life to illness that was tragically incomprehensible. The questions that probe deeper exploration into mortality.
Ive always believed that life is somewhat a series of random events woven together. Yes, our logical and somewhat rational brains want to figure out if there is some causality as to why an event may have occurred OR the reason why C happened was because A and B decided to get acquainted. I guess perhaps the rejection of one’s pre-held ideas or beliefs can only be challenged once they're confronted to face an event that influences to shaping it. Thats all for now my friends :)
The other day I was in the grocery store picking up some chili powder for a chili soup recipe I planned on cooking. When I got to the register, the store associate rang up my powder, $5.29 she said. I was like huh, I am pretty sure the price said $3.99 so I told the associate. She went back to the aisle to check and confirm which ended up being right.
Though small in nature, I realized 1. that had I not been paying attention to the price on the shelf before I picked it up or paid attention at check out, I would’ve been over charged!. And while a $1.29 cents is no drastic difference, it just highlights the importance of paying attention.
To place this whole scenario in a larger context, imagine how many other instances we may have been placed in where we were either taken advantage of, over charged or even possibly under charged, simply by not paying attention lol. And sometimes it works wonderfully in our favor, I know.
It happens to all of us, especially when we might be in a rush, distracted talking to a friend or even just being on our phone. While I am happy that I paid the correct price for my chili powder, it was a nice reminder to be present and focused on what is in front of us.
Stay focused :)
Have a good week!
G Xx
RECENT HIGHLIGHTS ✨
I finally finished my HBS online program and received notice that I passed with honors (Woo). Glad thats over with lol. I am just glad that I passed all three finals. Even though it was just basically over the course of two months, it was quite intensive. I also recently came back from traveling in the south of Spain about a month ago and that was delightful.
The weather was consistently warm and to my surprise the old town center in which we stayed in was super diverse. When I say diverse, I am talking layers. Diversity spanning from: race, sexuality, genders etc. This was contrary to my experience in Madrid early this year and It made me wonder why so much diversity is drawn to this small part of Costa del Sol in the south of Spain.
One of the days we took a day trip to Marbella, which is a neighboring town about 1hr away by bus, also part of the Costa del Sol region. The old town was charming and manicured with tiny alley ways you could easily get lost in just to find yourself eventually in the center of a square filled with greenery and an eatery to enjoy an afternoon coffee or lunch.
Theres no trip to Spain without eating paella ofc, so we did that. Checked out a flamenco performance which is a cultural dancing tradition and visited the Pablo Picasso museum for a couple history lessons. The trip was a 9/10, tho I wish we were able to visit the historical landmark, Alcazaba in Grenada but the tickets were either sold out or questionably high. Saving that for another time :)
♥️ FAV THINGS CURRENTLY
📚 Book: When Breath Becomes Air: Paul Kalanithi - I recently started reading this New York Times bestseller and pulitzer prize winning memoir. A 36 year old on the verge of completing a decades worth of training to become a neurosurgeon, who did his medical school at Yale and residency at Stanford was diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer. One day he was treating the dying and the next became a patient to survive.
The book recounts his experiences through medical school and fascination with lifes meaning, and mortality which drew his interest in becoming a neurosurgeon. His wife also a doctor. The future he imagined as a new father just like that evaporated. The book is moving, and I am still reading but it really puts things into perspective.
🕯️ Candle: Tekes, Kamea - Okay, when I say Ive never smelled a candle like this one before I am not kidding lol. I also don’t consider myself a huge candle person but lately, Ive been enjoying burning a candle at night while I watch a show or read a book. I discovered this brand and candle in a local shop in my neighborhood which surprisingly I have not heard of before.
Their candles are made in France and the top notes of Kamea are: Bergamot, Fig, Elemi | Heart: Cedar-wood, Hay, Tobacco, Blac Tea | Base: Vetiver, Musk, Amber. Pretty much my scent palette lol. Their other candles in their collection also smell really great but I became instantly pulled in by this one. The scent is truly unique along with the others.
Nowadays I find that both in the perfumery and candle space, the scents are duplicated and lack differentiation. It becomes a needle in a haystack finding a fragrance or candle that stands out. With the exception of a few brands that deliver this exceptionally well, Aesop and Le Labo. Im sure there are others but those are the two that come top of mind rn.
They also sell IFRA certified vegan and cruelty free fragrances. One that also comes in a candle format that I also like, so I am considering buying the travel size to add a new scent for fall/winter :)
🍽️ DINING
Naked Dog - This italian spot knows how to deliver a tasty tagliatelle pasta. Which has shiitake mushrooms, thyme butter sauce and parmigiano (yum). Ive already been a total of three times lol. I should probably try some of the other pastas which I plan to at some point, but this one just hits. New York is filled with an abundance of Italian spots. This spot is located in Brooklyn and has a more chill low key vibe than some of the others + the ambiance inside makes it for a cute date spot or even catch up with a friend.
✍️QUOTE OF THE WEEK
”The goal is to not live forever, but to create something that will”